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Ballroom Dance Resource - Ballroom Humor (Next Page) Warning...lots of groaners here for all you ballroom dance lovers!REASONS FOR MERENGUE (thanks to http://calgarysalsa.tripod.com 1. To rest between Salsa's. 2. To practice your Salsa moves. 3. To remind you that the Saxophone is ALIVE and WELL! 4. To make you appreciate how much you Truly Love Salsa... 5. To give the DJ time to find more Salsa. 6. To go for a drink...man, am I thirsty! 7. Because you are not good enough for Salsa. 8. Because sometimes you must walk before you can run... 9. To let Gringos try something safe and easy for them (hey!) 10. Its closing time and the bar wants the customers to leave. 11. DJ threatened to turn back on the smoke machine/strobe lights. 12. The DJ usually does techno raves and can't tell the difference. 13. The DJ knows you hate Merengue and expects a bribe to play Salsa. ----------- Bumper Snickers: If you don't dance for two days, you notice. If you don't dance for four days, everyone notices. Real men marry dancers. (and they're happy to record the big game to watch your performance) Eat, Sleep, and be Dancey! ----------- Groaners: Which dance will a chicken not do? The foxtrot! Why is it cool to be a dancer? Because no one tells you off for having too much attitude! What sort of dance does a plumber do? A tap dance! How do hens dance? Chick to chick What do you call a one legged dancer? Eileen How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb? Five!...Six!...Seven!...Eight! ----------- Why is Ballroom Dancing better than a Blind Date? Thanks to Dance Ace A bad date lasts all evening, but a bad dance lasts three minutes. You can dance with a dozen different partners in just one hour. If the dance partner is good, you can have another dance right away. No awkward goodbye at the end of a dance. For MEN: You don't have to pay for her dinner. You see her before you commit to spending time with her. If you like her, you can wrap her up in a cuddle. You find out right away if she is a back seat driver. For WOMEN: You get to buy a special pair of shoes for the occasion. If you don't like his looks, you can decline the dance without guilt. You find out right away if knows how to lead, or needs to be led. If he smells bad, you can lean out away from him and people will compliment you on your dancing style. ----------- Wise Man Say: "Women drivers belong on road, not on dance floor" People with two left feet can train one to be right. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. (sorry, couldn't resist throwing that one in, even though it's not dance related...unless it refers to a "dance" floor, of course!) ----------- Why did the chicken cross the road? Ballroom Dancers' responses: Crossing the road followed line of dance. To get the judges' attention. The road lead, the chicken followed. ----------- DANCE JOKES (groaners!) How do hens dance? Chick to chick. Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz. How does a witch-doctor ask a girl to dance? Voodoo like to dance with me? What do ghosts dance to? Soul music. Where can you dance in California? San Frandisco. I've been invited to an avoidance. An avoidance? What's that? It's a dance for people who hate each other. ----------- More dance jokes! Courtesy of my friend René Zgraggen of www.DancingWith.ReneZ.com I bumped into some dancers. Got a strike. My wife and I both love to dance. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Thursdays. The dance floor was so fast they had an on ramp with a merge sign. She didn't know how to follow. I did a left turn while she did a promenade. I never saw her again. We did an Argentine Tango. She did some fancy high kicks. It was very painful. We did a nice relaxed Tango. I did a series of gentle rocking steps. She fell asleep ----------- Definitions that should exist: Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web! Get more from: funehumor.com ------------ What animals are poor dancers? Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet. Andy: "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row." Doctor: "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible." Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl from the end." What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep ! An avid line dancing couple go to the doctor for a check up because they are having trouble remembering anything but, all the latest line dances. The doctor finds them in excellent health (of course), but suggests that writing things down may help their memories off the dance floor. That night the husband gets up to go the kitchen and the wife asks for a dish of ice cream, suggesting that maybe he write it down. He says "I don't need to write it down" She says "Well I want Strawberries on it, so maybe you better write it down" "I don't need to write it down" He says and walks off in a huff. Twenty minutes later he comes back with a plate of bacon and eggs. "I told you to write it down" she says, "You forgot my toast". Q. What happened to the Blonde Tap Dancer? A. She fell into the sink. A dancer goes to the bar for a diet coke. She's sitting on the stool, enjoying her drink when she hears, "You look great!" She looks around but there's nobody near her. She hears the voice again, "No really, you look terrific." She looks around again. Nobody. She hears, "Is that a new top or something? Because you are absolutely glowing!" She then realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar. "Hey," she calls to the bartender, "What's with the nuts?" "Oh," the bartender answers, "They're complimentary." ----------- I read that ballroom dancing was good for body and mind and that it can even prevent Altzheimers. So I wasn't worried when a lady asked me my name the other night. I said "Just give me a minute, it'll come right back to me". ----------- If god had intended us to do ballroom dancing, he would have made women's knees bend the other way. Think about it. submitted by Rene Zgraggen www.DancingWith.ReneZ.com ...Go to Dance Humor Page Two |
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